One Week

(I wrote this 5 days ago and just got to posting it)
Where in the world of beautiful men did time go?! I leave in one week. One week! Seven days! 168 hours! No I don't know the minutes or seconds, please don't ask me. Am I nervous? Excited? Freaking out? .....YesnoIDKmybffJill?
That would be my answer to all of those questions. My room is boxed away, my stuff has yet to be packed (we're working on it), and I THINK (think being the key word) I have everything I need. Honestly, my mind has been lost for a month now. About a month ago I came down with a head cold and it has slowly become worse. It went from my nose, to my head, to my ears, to my throat, and now it resides in my lungs. I have been to the doctors more times than one, and I can't even begin to describe the amount of pills I've taken (all prescribed by a reliable doctor of course). And not to mention today I was told I needed surgery on my toe, but it has to wait 18 months because I don't have 4-6 weeks of recovery time. Clearly I must be a little stressed out because I now wake up with a clenched jaw and the continuing thought of, "Hey...Alisha, did you sleep last night?" Let's not forget that I speak this coming Sunday and sometime soon I need to write my talk. And as I write this post I keep looking over at my new mission bag in its beautiful blue and brown colors wondering if it is indeed a 'conservative' colored bag. Guess it's too late to buy a new one anyway.
Granted this past month hasn't been ALL terrible. I was able to take professional pictures with my four best childhood friends before we all go our separate ways: one is married, one is leaving to Spain for her mission, one is headed to college to be a bomb vet, and the other is waiting to marry her beloved missionary (he is serving in the Tampa, Florida mission...his name is Elder TJ Peters. If you know him tell him Ayrica misses him dearly). I was also able to go to the lake during my time of illness and spend many fun nights with friends and family.
However, last weekend had to be the best. For last weekend, we had General Conference. I can't believe how many missionaries are out and are soon to be out. The Lord's work truly is progressing, and I am so thankful to be a part of it. I have heard some say that they are surprised I am going on a mission. I have never been the rebel child, but I've also never been gung-ho about sharing the gospel before. I'm not a very affectionate person and struggle with sharing my feelings. How will I be able to share my feelings about the gospel? I've thought a lot about this when I first received my call. The conclusion that I came to was: it will all work out. The Lord will never set you up to fail.
When I prayed about a mission it felt right. I could not deny that the Lord needed me to go. I think I started filling out my papers not knowing if I really wanted to go or not, but I knew the LORD wanted me to. That is when I began to learn about my will and His will. There are people in England that need me, that are waiting for me. I know even if I am terrible at sharing my feelings, or am not too gung-ho about sharing the gospel at first, it will all work out. And as these few months have gone by leading up to my mission I have become more accepting of the plan my Heavenly Father has for me. I want to serve a mission...and I am going to serve a mission. I leave in 7 days and could not be more excited. The excitement is buried deep down in the dark abyss of sickness, but it is there!
So if there are some of you that feel like you won't be a good missionary, or that you are serving because you know you need to but don't necessarily want to...I've been there. Just remember the Lord will not set you up to fail, and as you come to accept what the Lord has in store for you then you will be blessed. Soon what you want and what He wants will become the same thing.